Respect the “can’t”


People with disabilities and chronic illnesses will often say we “can’t” do something when technically, we can, but not without severe consequences we’re not willing to pay. Since, in my experience as a person with chronic illness and disabilities, explaining that yes in theory I could do the thing but the cost-benefit analysis does not work out for me usually results in people trying to pressure me to do the thing despite me just explaining what it would cost, I try to shut down that line of pressure by saying “can’t” instead of “shouldn’t.”

Doing this is not dishonest. I can’t do the thing, in the sense that abled people are thinking of. I can’t just pound it out and move on to the next thing. It will take too much out of me. If I do it, my day is basically over, and maybe my next few days or weeks will…

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