Beauty is the Beast: Awakening the Theatre Animal through the Art of Pain

Bear is the anti – Prima Donna. Immensely talented, incredibly strong willed with skills and training which could easily have led to a more conventional life of professional opera, she chose to be a sideshow performer. The world is richer for her choice.

TW for some body horror, both descriptions and pictures.

F*cking Woman Up And Grow One

Capture Lon Chaney, Josephine Baker, Klaus Nomi, Charlie Chaplin, Michael Crawford, Puddles Pity Party, Theda Bara, Stefan Karl Stefansson, and Fanny Brice; as physical, visual performers go, these are biggest influences. Throw them in a blender, and you’ll arguably get what & how I present myself onstage. (But please don’t actually throw them in a blender.)

(CW:  Discussion & description, and pictures, of painful sideshow feats, including ones that pierce the skin. employ care & caution)

3 years ago this week, I found myself – 31, clumsy, and shy – behind the Stables Stage at Georgetown Carnival.  Still new to northwest, The Czar was the only person I then knew with any intimacy.   But there I was surrounded by tall, foreboding men with oddly cut and styled hair, kohl smudged eyes, skull-encrusted hats, spike-studded spray painted denim, and torn fishnet.  They were so cool.  And i was nobody

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Manufacturing Revival (Dirty Little Secret #1)

Very relevant to the present day.

StarrTrekking

Donald Trump’s Strangest Bedfellows: Part 15

Manufacturing Revival (Dirty Little Secret #1)

This is Part 15 of a blog series titled “Donald Trump’s Strangest Bedfellows.”
Although each entry in the series has some information and commentary
that can be of interest “standing alone,” each builds on
information, concepts, and commentary introduced in earlier entries in the series,
and thus it is most effective to read the material sequentially from the beginning.

Click here to go to the first entry in the series, Part 1

The previous entry in this blog series introduced the fact that there are several “dirty little secrets” behind what is now viewed with nostalgia by many Evangelical Christians as an amazingly “Christian” era of the US in the 1950s that they yearn to return to—even if they weren’t even born yet when that era ended. Many have put their hopes in Donald Trump’s administration…

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On being a white activist

I’m White. Capital-W, raised in the suburbs, maybe 2 Black kids at my elementary school White. I named this page after a quote by Martin Luther King, Jr: in his sermon “Transformed Nonconformist” he said “Everybody passionately seeks to be well-adjusted,” he said. “…but there are some things in our world to which men of good will must be maladjusted….Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.”

In the same sermon he also said “There are those who tell me that I should stick with civil rights, and stay in my place. I can only respond that I have fought too hard and long to end segregated public accommodations to segregate my own moral concerns. It is my deep conviction that justice is indivisible, that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”.
King was a hero to Black people, and the widespread maltreatment of Black people led him to fight the underlying system which begets oppression. He chose to strike at the heart of the issue, and as a result he fought for all of us.
Black communities suffered from widespread poverty, so he embraced socialism and fought the causes of poverty, greed and the capitalist systems which were built around it. Black folks were drafted and killed in combat at disproportionate rates, but he spoke out against the Vietnam war as a whole. If he’d lived longer, seen the rise of queer awareness and the widespread oppression of queer folks, gay and trans people of color especially, I’m certain he would have been a champion for queer people as well.
King was many things. He was a civil rights leader, a socialist, one of the greatest orators and philosophers of the modern age. Unlike many Black leaders who quite reasonably chose to focus on the Black audience, he chose to speak to everyone, to attempt a large scale transformation in the viewpoints of the general population, a massive paradigm shift in which non-Black, non-activist people would start to see some of the injustice which society makes it so easy to ignore.
King was and is a Black hero, first and foremost. I don’t claim him as my own; he was not a product of my culture. But I can listen. I can say “this was a very smart man”, read his works, think on and internalize his philosophy. I can learn to center the people most affected by a particular issue, to signal boost rather than speaking for myself on subjects which do not affect me personally. I can encourage others to do the same.
In “A Proper Sense of Priorities”, he said “On some positions cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?!’ Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’ Vanity asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’ But conscience must ask the question, ‘Is it right?!’ And there comes a time when one must take a stand that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular. But one must take it because it is right.”
I’m just trying to do what’s right.

Brains Vary

Great minds do not think alike.

My mother is a dancer. She thinks in movement, choreography. I think in emotional impressions. Ideas, abstractions, art.

I used to live much deeper inside my head than I do now. I found the outside world confusing, or rather the people in it and their bizarre expectations of how I should think and act. I learned over the course of years of painful trial and error to think and act more “normally”, but adapting changed me profoundly. I will bear the scars and regrets of that process for the rest of my life.

I learned to think in shorter, more discrete ideas. It dampened my creativity, but translating abstract ideas for neurotypical people is a necessary survival skill for Autistics. I don’t think as creatively now, or quickly, and I miss that. But heaven forbid “normal” people should have to learn to accommodate us. That would be unreasonable.

Thinking in discrete short ideas has made it easier for me to communicate verbally, but only when the ideas which need communicating don’t require foundational explanation, and I lost a great deal in the transition. I could no longer connect disparate concepts as well as I once could, and my imagination became limited by the shared assumptions of neurotypical society. I rebelled as much as I could, but I cannot say I won that war. I’m pretty weird still, but not like I was. A Pyrrhic victory at best.

Whatever operating system you use, regardless of the layout of your internal world, know that each person is unique, and that different people’s ways of thinking each have their own strengths. Stand in solidarity with your fellow freaks, fight back against the people who would steal your birthright.

You are not alone.

Hello world! (because I like WordPress’s default title)

One of my partners wrote a short piece showing plainly what it’s like to have your health betray you at a relatively young age. Please respect young people with disabilities, especially invisible ones. We have enough on our plates without your judgement.

mx flick

Hey. My name is Felix. I’m twenty-one years old and I made this blog a few months back in a moment of trying to force myself to do something productive. I used to be fairly active in the writing community. I did poetry. About three years ago, my bipolar disorder went into full-blown temper tantrum mode and threw non-stop episodes at me. I wouldn’t hesitate to say these were some of the worst in my life. Suffice to say, writing took a back seat during this time. Then, during a hospitalization in early January, I eventually managed to level myself out. My lithium had finally taken effect and reached a therapeutic dose, and the hospital I was at actually gave enough of a damn to try to teach us all some coping mechanisms.

During my last hospitalization, I started getting a nagging back pain. At first, I could deal with…

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